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Return to Innocence

It's Friday evening and I am giddy like a school child. I have Adam Sandler's little diddy from Billy Madison stuck in my head. "Back to school, back to school..."

I'm headed into a 5 day Advanced Studies course with Leslie Kaminoff back at the studio that I originally received my Teacher Training from. I entered teacher training as a college student, a gal looking out confidently and curiously at adulthood. (We are talkin' tequila nag champa and a fast metabolism!) I was 18 then, so my connection to this studio has a certain feeling of reminiscence, innocence, a certain feeling of self love, self questioning and promise. I ended up taking the long track of teacher training because back then there was only one track- so if you missed a class you had to wait a whole other round- till the next time it was offered. (Blessing in disguise!) It was also just about the only place you could get Yoga Alliance certified at the time, save maybe one or two other places in the city limits. Once, I missed an entire weekend of Teacher Training because I was in New York with some very smart and beautiful Austinites. It was a memorable trip to New York for the NY Fringe Fest. We flew. We got a glowing review. My picture was in the Times...

If I cannot share this on my blog. I don't know where else. It was an exciting time. I was creatively connecting it all. I discovered Polvo's margaritas (Scar on left hip bone to prove it!) Got a puppy (Bluey!) Rented a house (South 5th Forever!) It was also around this time that I was training with The SITI Company in New York, LA and Austin and making friendships and creative relationships that I am so grateful to say will last a lifetime. (Or two! SIC Fools forever!!!)  I was always the youngest. I was becoming obsessed with body kinesthetics. And I was having a lot of fun.

As I go back to this studio to immerse in a 5 day Breath Centered Yoga Anatomy course 2013- I cannot help but be flooded with nostalgia. I am excited to be in this setting again- now 10 years later. In some ways I am such a different version of myself and in yet I can still see myself as the same Adriene. Inspired and ready to work.

But you cannot buy experience.

I remember one of the first solid gold mantras I ever made for myself was, FIND THE JOY. It was something that was coming up in both my actor training and my yoga teacher training. (Seriously, I would get this as a note. ADRIENE: Great work. FIND THE JOY!) I recall the feeling of shame on the onset. This idea that someone thought that all I valued was doing it right or doing it perfect. NOOOOO!!!!! I could not bear the thought! "I will show them! I will 'Find The Joy' I will do it right!"

Doh.

My experience has taught me that there is no right. In fact, my experience has taught me to allow myself to have an experience. Also, I no longer do things in which I cannot also seek the joy within them. Yoga is a great and powerful tool for this.

Day 1 of Leslie Kaminoff and I am giddy like a school child.  (Leslie is a bad ass btw and I will do a whole other worthy bad-ass blog about him and his offerings.)

Reminiscing a vast collage of images, I come to the conclusion that I am so grateful and gracious for all of the unique gifts along the way. This graciousness that I feel is such a great reminder to stay in that beginners mind, innocent, whilst honoring this simple notion to enjoy the experience.

Recap:

Beginners mind. There is no right. There is only your experience and what it tells you. Find the Joy.

This is also what I am talking about when I say, "Find what feels good." Find that Joy baby! No need to raise your hand.

 

PS: Can I say it now??? CUE ENIGMA!!!

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