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Big Trouble In Little Yoga Room

Hello my friends,

I hope that this letter finds you well.

I'm back in Texas after a long weekend teaching in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

I was invited there to share yoga each morning to a group of awesome people attending the 2014 Awesomeness Fest. Class was at 7:45am followed by a meditation offering and it was so beautiful to see people get up after long days and late nights for the optional yoga program each morning. It really inspired me.

Our location wasn’t too bad either.


photo (4)

 

I plan on sharing more about my trip later – so stay tuned for that! I was able to cook up a fun Revitalizing Yoga sequence for you the day I snuck off to Sayulita in a wild little cab. Yay for Travel Yoga!

But for now, I want to talk about getting back to it.

Getting back to what?

Well, you tell me.

What do you want to get back to?

After travel, after the holidays, after any adventure life throws at you - or after any inevitable hiatus of movement we begin to notice this feeling of wanting to return to what feels good, to stir the pot, reconnect or to get back in shape.

It is inevitable that we take breaks. It simply is not possible to be on all the time, to be perfect or constantly be smooth, like butter. Any relationship will indeed teach us that. (Can I get an amen?)

For me - after a trip, I come home craving to get back to the foods that don't make me feel heavy. I want to get back to my kitchen and to the places I love. I am full of gratitude for the adventure but also in need of a little reset routine.

Also ...

I have something to admit. 

I have been a little remiss from my home practice.

I know, I know - I know.

I used to get on the mat two times a day - with ease.

Depending on the day it was usually something like this:

One practice early, one late and one short and one longer. On days that I teach or shoot I usually would just hit the yoga room once and of course - we go with the flow. But I really loved getting on my mat and I MADE TIME.

I’m the homecoming queen of home practice y’all.

In the last 5 months though I have been having some trouble.

Big trouble in little yoga room. 

Man, I have just not been getting in there each day. I get in there some days but when I do it is not with the same ease. I go to more public classes. I wait till later in the day to roll out my mat at home - which means, it sometimes doesn't happen.

To be perfectly honest, in recent months, each time I would hit my mat in the yoga room solo - I would lose it.

Light a candle, close the doors, do my thing. Play some music.

I end up in child’s pose in tears or feeling oh so lonesome I could cry - in downward facing dog.

I was not feeling it.

In April, I had to say goodbye to my 10-year companion, my baby, my best friend Blue. It took me a while to realize why I was resisting going into my favorite room in the house. It took a bit to realize I was feigning interest to play on my mat. But I recently conceded. I was missing Blue.

Now, I don't want to send you my personal journey and battle with grief over the loss of Blue dog - 6 months after his passing. But I will say that sometimes you just need to take a break. Life throws you a mishap or two, an illness, a break up, a mis-step or a tragedy - and your life changes for a bit.Your body does too.

You don't need me to tell you that it is not the end of the world. It is all a process. Recovery. Healing. Grief. A process. An evolution.

But perhaps, together, we can connect on how to get back in.

So,

What do you want to get back to?

Share with us down below what you want to get back into and perhaps we can support each other and offer thoughts, humor, suggestions to, you know, get back to it - in a new way.

I want to get back into that yoga room on a daily basis – with ease.

And I want to work on my Spanish.

Despite the fact that I am super busy, I'm starting by re-painting my yoga room. A light blue.

paint yoga

Love Always,

Adriene

PS - RESET, REJUVENATE, RESTORE, RECONNECT. Need some extra back up tools? REBOOT and EMPOWER have helped thousands of people revitalize their home yoga practice. Use the coupon GETBACKTOIT for 10% off all the home yoga courses at FindWhatFeelsGood.com.xo

84 comments on “Big Trouble In Little Yoga Room”

  1. Losing a pet is so hard, they take a piece of you with them. I've been there and its tough. I've been watching and taking part in your yoga videos and damn does it ever relieve the stresses of life. I think it's only been a week but i'm feeling more energetic and less anxious all ready. I really hope i can continue to do some of your yoga exercises everyday or every other day but so far so good. That's my goal.

    I think you should take the time you need and work on getting back into that room more frequently, but not if it's going to cause you any kind of distress. At some point it won't hurt to be in that room anymore and you'll be happy to be in a room filled with memories instead, i think that will make you more eager to be in there everyday. It will for sure take time to get to that point, and if not, even better.

    Hope this comment wasn't too all over the place, it's 2am and i just wanted to leave you something quick to say how much i love your videos and how happy i am to be getting into this, and that i hope you feel better and get back in there!

  2. Dearest Adriene,

    For the past few months I have been trying to reconnect with myself. Overcoming sadness and crushing self-criticizing. Your yoga video's have been the medium to get myself out of bed. No matter how crappy I felt, you would be there, telling me to love myself and find what feels good.
    You have become a friend and ally in my healing process and through this message I want to let you know how inspiring you are to me. I am certain you bring not only me, but many more people so much joy.

    I hope you can heal your sadness about Blue to the point where you can see beyond missing a true friend and smile about all the love you shared.

    Much love,

    Ilse

  3. Hi Adriene,
    I really feel for you, grief unfolds differently for everyone. My yoga teacher once told me when I was having difficulty stepping on to my mat, that our practice moves in cycles, and not to worry. It sounds like you know what to do. Painting your space is a lovely way to start. Thank you for being you, you are an inspiration! Namaste 🙂

  4. My dog, Dora, is my best friend. She helps me to overcome the major changes that have been happening in my life. I can not imagine my days without her.

    I'd like to get back to my saxophone.

    best regards,
    R.

  5. Everything about this hits home. I don't even have words to describe it. It actually made me tear up, it allowed me to feel the way I've been feeling. And breathe and reboot. My practice , my teachings, my life. Beautiful writing. Thank you for sharing.

  6. Adriene Louise,

    First of all, I think that's a lovely connective step you made to paint your yogi room blue. I'm assuming it's in honor of Blue. Lovely...

    Also, your ability to be authentic with your readers and youtube viewers/fans makes me love you even more. For the most part I truly believe we need more connective tissue with others.

    You did ask what we want to get back to. I want to get back to my yoga with ease as well. I used to be very strict with my exercise routine and I have severely lacked in this area. Now it's about just forgiving myself and moving forward. 🙂
    Yours til my next swim,
    Mermaid love and ocean kisses from Ca. Raquel

  7. Hi Adriene,
    I understand how hard it can be losing a pet. We had to put down our family golden retriever last January. He was almost 15, so wise, and so handsome. He taught me so much. Even in his death, he, like yoga, taught me of the power of two opposing forces. Namely, love and loss. To honour him and myself, I had to be willing to embrace the pain of losing him. I had to hold those two powerful emotions, love and loss simultaneously. We all find our own ways through this. I am proud of my tears for him and the power of love instilled in me. It's a good feeling and 'finding what feels good' is a beautiful, liberating, process. Enjoy your new blue room! And, keep being you, in whatever form, because you give people, me the courage to bounce light off of light. Xo

  8. When reading this post, I thought to myself, "Man, there are so many things I need to get back to. I could say I need to get back to daily yoga practice, or eating healthy, or connection with others." When I took a second to step back and think, though, I remembered how I tend to push myself too hard and expect too much of myself. To what do I truly need to reconnect?

    I am going to get back to rest and forgiveness. To remembering that one rest day is not the end of the world. To the belief that a big glass of wine at the end of a long day rather than tackling a pile of grad school work is not laziness, but self-care. To the understanding that I am not capable of doing everything, but what I can do is amazing, and I should be proud of my capabilities and the growth that I see in my practice.

    Thank you for being so honest with your emotions and vulnerability, and reminding me that it is okay to be honest with my own. You are absolutely lovely, and my heart goes out to you in this time of grief.

  9. What do I want to get back to? Me. Myself. My (semi) confident bubbly sunny impulsive quirky opinionated self. Somewhere in the past few years I've lost myself. And I believe my husband who married that person and my baby son deserve to have the best of me. So I'm working on that. I'm getting back to nature. I'm walking and exploring and playing my music loud. I'm trying the yoga and loving it. Slowly slowly I'm coming back

    1. Hello all

      Emily - your comment struck a chord with me. I to, feel that I have lost my spark over the past few years due to a long and difficult grief process, I really feel what you're saying. Life throws it's ups and downs at us and we have to ride the wave.

      I stopped being creative, impulsive and stepping on the mat when I really needed too.

      After joining the Yoga with Adriene family, which took me on a journey in its self, I found myself unable to step on the mat a couple of months ago. Today will be the first day that I carry on that part of this journey.

      So thank you Emily, and everyone else here.

      Let us find what feels good, because we don't just owe to the others around, we owe it to ourselves.

      Love and peace.

      Milly

  10. Dear Adriene,

    Hola! I'm writing to you from the Dominican Republic. Losing loved ones is a process. Your honesty and sharing is awesome. I think it keeps people grounded and open to real living in our human condition. Your website and videos are wonderful. I too need to work on my Spanish, and your YouTube channel gave me the opportunity to explore and fall in love with a new and very well rounded exercise. I don't know that it would have been the same experience if I didn't understand the instructor. Yoga is amazingly transformative, Thank you for all your sharing! Yoga is making a huge difference in my days. For the new year I would love to see more beginners routines that focus on strength flexibility and maybe some guided yoga/meditation! You are so good at what you do! Keep up the great work...I think you have found your calling. Abrazos!

    Sincere best wishes,
    Sarah

  11. Hi Adriene,

    I am a new member of your community and it is really important for me to tell you how inspiring you are to me!

    I also experienced a few losses in my family recently and have been going through a tough time myself. As I am also an actress I know that on an emotional base it is extremely hard because we are very sensitive and open minded human beings - and feelings like sadness of course also reflect in our work.
    But it also needs time - and it is no shame - and your honesty is brilliant! Grieving is good and crying is even better!

    Having said that.... I want to go back to being MYSELF, feeling my body, my breath...calmness.
    Your videos have been my start...
    Thank you so much <3

    All the best from Vienna / Austria 🙂

  12. Adriene,

    I recently discovered you and yoga and I love your videos so much. I'm still not practicing every day but am getting more regular and I always feel so much better after spending time on the mat with you walking me through a practice. So for me it isn't so much getting back to yoga practice, but developing a yoga practice. Many many thanks for your help.

  13. Hi Adriene,
    I understand how hard it can be losing a pet. We had to put down our family golden retriever last January. He was almost 15, so wise, and so handsome. He taught me to much. Even in his death, he, like Yoga, taught me the power of two opposing forces. Namely, love and loss. I had to hold those two powerful emotions simultaneously in his absence. We all find our own ways through this. I am proud of my tears for him and the power of love instilled in me. It's a good feeling and 'finding what feels good' is a beautiful, liberating process. Enjoy your new blue room! And, keep being you, in whatever form, because you give people, me, the courage to bounce light off of light. Xo.

  14. Hi Adriene,

    This is the first email I received from you: my face lit up when I saw your name in my Inbox. Forgive my excitement: Ive subscribed to YWA only about a week ago and I truly love your cheerful, relaxed and sincere approach in your videos.

    Reading your heartfelt email me very sad. I never had a pet, but I have lost very close family members who were very dear to me, so I can feel your bereavement. Nothing feels the same after they have gone, but we learn to get by, we try to remember the good times. Its totally understandable that you cant get on your mat, but its great progress (towards "getting back to") that you have realized the reason. I fully believe that, in time, you will get back to what you want. Things will be different, but you will have added another layer of "you" to yourself.

    There are so many things Id like to get back to but most importantly, Id like to get back to my cheerful and confident self. Thats my goal.

    Thank you for entering my life and thank you for being you. I am positive that you are an inspiration to many 🙂

    With my warmest good wishes,

    Nilgün

  15. I definitely want to get back to the enthusiasm and energy I had last year, focusing on eating well, being active and trying new things.

    Going paleo, working out consistently, saying yes to new things gave me new life and energy.

    I don't know what wore me down, but the lure of taking the easy, well-trod paths came back to me. I definitely want to get out of that rut.

  16. Dear Adrienne,

    Your videos have helped me find done kind of exercise that I look forward to every day that I'm not running around for school. As a college student, it's hard to get on the may every day or make it to specific classes, so your videos help me unwind and stay in shape.

    I would love to get back to eating healthy. I've always been a just food junkie, and I'm not sure how to start, especially living at college.

    I hope you achieve what you want to!

  17. i came to find you when things in my life were out of my control. I won't get into all the details! I just knew I needed something for me, and two yogis inspired me and I was off on a healing journey for me. Things are better now I was able to come to a place in my yoga and my over all well being to focus further on myself and the quality of food that goes in. I'm feeling great!! With that said, I came to yoga in dispar and I'm feeling great, unfortunately that has meant I'm not getting on the mat 🙁 I was laying in bed this am thinking I need to get on my mat, well maybe a few more minutes in bed. So I'm all cozy in bed and come across your blog post!! Just when I need it!!! So what I would like to get back to is my mat, but for different reason than when I first came to yoga when everything was in dispar, I want to get on my mat to continue my healthy over all journey, not just because something is bad in my life. I want to get in my mat on the good days too!!!

  18. Losing a family member is a terrible loss, and our pets are absolutely part of our family. It takes time to grieve and be able to move forwards with joy and happy memories, so be kind to yourself. Painting your room is a wonderful place to start. 🙂

    I want to get back to my regular yoga practice. For over a year I went religiously twice a week, and this year it started to slip, then completely fall off. I miss it and how strong my body felt with regular yoga. Your videos are helping me regain a routine, but I need to make it and stick to it! Always good to share when we hit obstacles, I believe it really helps to feel less overwhelmed by them when you see that others have struggles too!

    Thank you for creating such a warm community! Rachel x

  19. Two months ago on August 28th I got into a car accident that left me with a broken right wrist, a sprained left thumb, and the feelings of hopelessness and of being worthless and insecure. I have never been this hurt, and the trauma of that pain still makes me cry to this day.
    I am healed and out of a cast but a part of me just vanished after that incident.
    Before the accident I watched your videos and did yoga once a day, and I loved it. It made me feel peaceful and confident.
    I want to do yoga again. I want to find that peace and security that a solid foundation brought to me on the mat. But at the same time I am afraid. Afraid that if I put pressure on my wrist that it will break or hurt, that I will never be able to put my hand flat on a mat because it won't bend the way it used to.
    I still have two more months of healing and wrist exercises to do in order to fully recover, but that's the physical stuff. There is no prescribed exercise to recover what one has lost spiritually and emotionally. That's why I hope to one day get to return to the mat, to find what feels good again. ( even if I have to exclude my right hand forever. )

  20. Repainting the yoga room is a great idea, and seems like it will be a great way to reinvent a new phase. Perhaps frame a picture of your Blue and put it on the wall to remind you of the joy he brought. I got my first dog two years ago, and have never experienced the love of a dog until now, in the early 30's. I can't imagine going through that loss, and I hope it does not come early. Anyway....moving forward and making changes toward a different type of growth.

    What do I want to get back to? I want to get back to writing. Writing about food, love, life, yoga. It's something I used to do on a regular basis, but have lost the regular practice.

    Heal well, Adriene.

    Julie

  21. I had surgery on my hands about 9 weeks ago and while I did get back to yoga and working out within a week, these past 3 weeks, I have just been burning out. I want to get up early to fit in exercise and Yoga, but it only happens sporadically. If I don't get it done early, I don't do it at all. I really have to push myself and I'm just not sure what happened. I was better at 1 week post surgery than I am now. I read this blog to avoid actually doing exercise. What went awry and how do I get the passion back?

  22. Wow, what a relief that even professional yogis struggle with dry spells. I was on a terrific roll this year practicing with ease every day for over 150 days, even on vacation but in the past couple months I completely lost it. am looking forward to rebooting and getting back in the groove. Thanks for sharing your struggle.

  23. Oh man dude, I really feel you. As I shared a little bit in the Kula, it's been a rough year for me too. I've moved three times, was temporarily homeless, I had illness in my family and am unexpectedly finding myself on my own.

    I think because the theme of your post is travel, I'd ask you to get back to a change of scenery or routine. How can you vary your home practice a little each day to make it fresh, new and exciting? Maybe you adjust the feng shui of your room bringing in plants or a fountain. Maybe you make a shrine to Blue. Maybe you wear a silly hat while doing yoga one day. Maybe you face the opposite direction. Sometimes small changes can help!

    On the other hand, the opposite impulse may also be helpful. In many cases, people try to make meditation a lot more fancy that it needs to be with elaborate guided visualizations, very specific meditation gear (cushions, bells), mantras, etc. (With no disrespect intended as those things are also helpful). However, at it's core, meditation is still just sitting (or walking! I love walking meditation) and focusing on the breath and being with yourself. You don't really need all that extra stuff to have a good practice. So if making small changes and adding novelty don't help, maybe stripping things down to their essentials can help.

  24. take your time, give yourself a break friend. I'm sure your practice will be back in no time. I'm sorry to hear you are missing your pup 🙁 I had to suddenly say goodbye to my furry companion a couple of years ago after having her in my life 8 joyous years (she was my husbands dog, he got her as a puppy and they were together nearly 14 years). It was the first time we had to put down a pet and it was truly a death in the family... So many emotions.... So devastating. I vowed I wouldn't have another dog in order to avoid that heartbreak again. However, fast forward two years... We moved and decided to rescue a really great dog from a local shelter. A few moths later we adopted him and I am so grateful to have a furry companion once again and to feel that daily love. While a new pet will never quite replace the old (and all of the wonderful memories are still there), perhaps you might allow yourself a new spirit to come into your life and feel the joy again. Wishing you all of the best!!

  25. Beautifully written! I've been very sick and weak for about 8 weeks and tonight was the first night back on my mat since early September. So obviously what I want to get back to is my passion for yoga and what it gives to me.. Thankfully I got you by my side, Adriene, you are such a great help, allowing me to get back in the game in a gentle and easy way, understanding that even after 6 years of practice, I can be a beginner again without feeling guilty.. It'll all come back and I know that because of you. So, thank you for sharing your weaknesses and thank you for being so refreshingly awesome and funny during practices.. My goal is set: I am doing a one month recovery with yoga everyday. I will not push myself to two practices, but my goal is at least one session of yoga a day. And I hope and feel that by pursuing this goal, my passion will come back, and with that my shape.. Concerning Blue, well, he has passed and left the earth, but he is in that yoga room waiting for you every day, lying next to you while practicing, looking at you and enjoying every minute of it.. don't make him wait for you, he is not gone, you just can't see him anymore! I hope the blue on the wall will help you realize that.. Lots of love and shared healing thoughts from Germany, Ann-Cécile

  26. I had to say good-bye to my best friend,Tucker, in March (he was a 14 YO border collie I got when he was 7.5 weeks old), and I still miss him every day -- despite the fact we have another dog now that I love. I didn't realize it was going to be as hard as it was/is, so I TOTALLY understand your missing Blue. The pain is horrible, but the joy they bring is well worth it! And I'm sure soon the memories will no longer bring tears...Hugs to you...

  27. I want to get back to acting and writing with ease. It used to be second nature to me. Things I did fearlessly. I am dealing with some major stuff at work (like really bad stuff) and I am praying to get out of this position ASAP. But in the meantime I have to endure and make it through. There are other areas of my life that need TLC also because of this situation, but finding it more difficult to act and write is kinda f'd up. I just needed to vent.

    Thank you for sharing your story Adriene. It made me see things in a different light. With determination, little by little your regular schedule of at home practice will come back to you. And you sound determined. Wishing the best for you.

  28. Hello adriene, hello everyone.

    can I say thank you all for sharing your stories? To show the world your human side and open your heart?

    I'm sorry about blue, I do understand it and hope time will heal and ease that feeling. Be grateful to have share so many moments with blue. I lost my lovely cat Zara, I couldn't say goodbye and thank her for everything. Her unconditional love, and be there and not caring about my flaws. Some will say I sound silly talking about a cat like that haha.

    Anyways be strong everyone, life is a journey. Worth the ride.

    I found you actually during one of my bad times, facing an illness and coping with major life changes.
    Yoga is a great help.
    What I want is finding my way back to happiness, by loving myself again regardless my flaws. And work on what I don't like about myself.

    I will get there eventually.

    Thank you adriene.

    You are the best.

    Anyone who wants to practice spanish I'm happy to help!!

    Love from London from an half French Spanish yoggy.

  29. Thank you for sharing this. I too have stifled with finding consistency in my practice after losing my grandmother who raised me and was my rock. Dealing with her estate this year has kept me in Louisiana and kept me from being able to teach as well. I decided to face this problem by seeking more training. Life head kicked my butt this year, but Iam discovering new levels to my practice well beyond asana. I want to get back to a consistent practice, but i also want to see my practice evolve to fit what is happening in my body after this difficult time. Yoga confronts us with what was once hidden in order to eventually let it go, and no wonder it is sometimes scary to open that door in the same ways. But ultimately i believe in the power of yoga to heal, it takes consistency and self compassion. Emotional to ride the line of being kind and understanding with yourself each day, and know when to push your self to move through. Sending lots of love to you. Loss in any form can uncover so much so please be sweet to yourself and your heart whole moving through this process! (I say this in part to myself as well). Here's to an ever evolving personal practice! Namaste sweet one!

  30. Get back on it..get back on it!
    I need to get back on top of my husband.
    Sorry truth speaker here! For realz though when self love is missing so is accepting love. So working on self love , need to get back to making love!
    Peace all

    1. Love your comment, so honest, made me smile!
      i guess you're right, why is it so hard sometimes?
      Making love is beautiful! And i love beauty 🙂

  31. Dear Adriene, Each week you seem to be speaking only to me, and each word in every newsletter is what I needed to read. I'm all filled up with tears and I am so sad for you and the grief that has struck you about Blue. I'm so sorry that you're hurting. You, your YWA videos, Reboot, Empower and the kulas have filled me with such happiness and hope and inspiration. Thank you for sharing you. Your happiness and your sadness. I'm sending hugs to you and thank you and my sincere gratitude.

  32. So, i'm from Argentina, my grammar is not so great. LIFE, what a challenge, and adventure. But we have to be honest and say that sometimes you cannot 'connect', because sometimes you have to cry, you have to let go. We are vulnerable, and as time goes by we tend to evolve and with a little luck find peace, gratitude and serenity. Because we are here for a reason or at least we must find one for our life to mean. Find what feels good is a very good motto to carry along the way.
    Love,
    Mariana

  33. My advice. ..feel what your feeling, get on your mat and dedicate the first Yoda practice to Blue. .Blue would want that...then slowly your practices will become another joyous part of your beautiful life.☺

  34. Dearest Adriene,

    I am oh so familiar with that crushing weight that comes from losing someone so close to you. I hope you days become infinitely brighter!

    As for the future I am facing a promotion and new job at work and would love LOVE a routine for the evenings when my mind is dog tired but my body needs the activity before bed. Some days its more than a basic video and some days im so tired I cant get beyond hugging my knees to my chest on my mat. Trying to find the daily right fit has been the struggle.

    Looking forward to the future with you.

    ~Laura

  35. I too an on that long road called grief. My best friend died during the SXSW tragedy, but I also suffered a miscarriage while I was in the hospital by her bedside. Yoga and meditation have been immeasurably helpful these past 8 months, but I feel I have taken a giant step back. This week would have been my due date. I am barely able to get out of bed right now. I want to get back to the level of self care I was at previously, but maybe the self care I need right now is to cry, scream, roll on the floor when I feel like it. I love your honesty. Tonight when I light my candles I will light three, one for Sandy, one for "Clovis," and one for Blue. xox

  36. I have only recently found you, your practice and your inspiration from the other side of the world in Australia. My heart goes out to you as you continue your journey of accepting your loss of Blue. Thank you for your honesty. My current loss is similar to another lady who shared the physical, emotional and spiritual losses that resulted from being in a car accident. I had a brain injury and post concussion earlier this year and have always been a "doing" person, "zooming" through the many aspects of my life generally with lots of "zing". I now struggle with constant fatigue, brain fog and currently unable to continue with teaching job and part time business as a textile artist. However, the silver lining is I am now letting go of the past year with all the negative stuff that happened and finding myself in meditation, mindfulness and yoga. It is an exciting journey finding my "zen" which I previously didn't make time for. I have dabbled in yoga previously, but not for awhile and now my stiff 58 year old body is paying for it. However with your help and a determination to continue to reboot and renew, I feel change in a physical, emotional and spiritual sense is possible and IS starting to happen. A new type of "zing" is on its way with my rebirth (so to speak). This social media and global connectedness blows my mind and I am so thankful for it and the brilliant way you use it.

  37. That post really hit home with me. Last month I lost one of the most important things in my life. My unborn son. I'm finally getting back to as normal as can be and I'm doing yoga more often. I will never stop hurting for my son but it is more bearable with each passing day. I just wanted you to know how much of an inspiration you are too me

    With much love kirsten

  38. Hi Adriene. Thanks so much for this very inspiring entry. I have been battling with a certain sadness lately and the problem is I can't quite relate this to anything other than my current job. Nothing's wrong with my job, nothing's wrong with the people I work with. But all of a sudden I felt a certain stagnation - I no longer feel I could grow and be a better person, a better professional. I no longer feel I could enhance my potentials - it's as if I'm at a standstill. When I felt like this in my previous job, I quit, all because of that dragging feeling I have every single day, that lonesomeness, the dissatisfaction. I have been trying to find alternatives, but I end up with nothing. I feel trapped. I have been trying to find happiness in the simple things, in the little accomplishments, but it's so damn hard to be positive lately. I try to pour my energy on to yoga, and yet, I don't even have that energy to be on the mat. Every time I practice yoga, it feels odd and heavy. I don't have that sense of ease as compared to when I'm practicing months back. Oftentimes lately, when I do feel a sense of happiness, the darkness suddenly comes to rip it out of my system. I badly need that optimism back because I feel this sadness might bring me down.
    It feels good to write about this and share this with you and with strangers who might be able to give a good advice. I hope someone would.

  39. When I discovered you on YouTube last November I was new to Yoga, doing a little home practice with Tara Stiles here and there. During the loss of a friendship, four years prior, I was hurting inside, and found it hard to believe in things again. But gradually, as I began to connect and FEEL myself again, I felt inner love pumping through my heart and giving me oxygen again. But before finding you and Tara, I had passed through four years of finding myself, and during that time I did not run from being alone, that would have meant abandoning my self. So I stayed with myself until we healed together. And out of that my connection with yoga evolved. Sometimes things happen to shift us from our place of comfort to our place of purpose and destiny. You have such a wondrous spirit Adriene, trust it, and let it guide you.

    I wish to get back to my film project, Breakaway. The intervals between my sessions with it are a bit long. But I trust the course that my personal development is taking, knowing that the film will be much better for it.

    Thank you sweet Adriene for sharing your amazing self. You have inspired me to open my heart again 🙂

    Nickolet

  40. oh, adriene, your post made me cry!! sending you love as you move through your grief.

    i want to get back to being present. i want to turn away from distractions and the ease in which i get caught up in everything and turn towards what is right before me: my family, my fiends, my sweet dog, my beautiful community, and my work as a homeopath.

    xoxox

  41. Hi Adriene,

    Thank you for sharing... I'm sorry for your loss; pets are definitely an important part of the family.

    I too am a recent subscriber and really appreciate your videos... they've been very beneficial with helping me to relieve some stress. I would like to get back to being more free...

    A few months ago my husband and I came to a final decision to not move forward with medically assisted fertility treatments meaning the chances of us having a baby are practically none... Then this past Saturday my husband was in a car accident which totaled our car; but thankfully he made it out with only minor aches and pains. I have found myself getting irritated really easily; I think things that were mulling in the back ground are starting to come up. Just feeling a bit overwhelmed even though I know I'm incredibly blessed in many ways. Thank you for sharing yourself; it helps along this journey.

  42. Hang in there. Life is complex. Great to hear from you. Miss hanging with you! xoxoxoxoxo

  43. Love to you Adriene! I read every other comment, and you must feel the love, from so many of us whom you have helped along on our yoga journey - I Hope you feel it! Your honesty is wonderful, refreshing and inspiring. Painting the room Blue - how perfect, and yet, if it doesn't effectively take you back to your practice, it might be that you can't "get Back" . Any great loss (and the loss of that pure, loyal love of a dog is Huge!) changes us, and as we process it and begin to come out on the other side, we are changed. We can't go "back" - only forward from the right here and now. I would respectfully suggest, dear Adriene, that you "Find what feels Good" and if it is different, so be it! It will be great, whatever is, because it will be what you need now. And your ability to share so honestly is a gift you share with us, so we are honored to be part of your yoga journey/life journey. Cue the music from WestSideStory - "Somethin's comin...Who knows...could be...somethin good" Namaste Om Shanti - Peace deepest Peace

  44. My heart goes out to you on the loss of your fur baby. It has been 5 weeks since my family said goodbye to our 14 year old lab, Lucky, so I understand what you are going through. He was both clown and confidante, and I miss him everyday.

    I want to get back to taking better care of myself...living mindfully, eating clean, and planning my fitness. Your videos have helped me get back to my home practice, now I just need to add back my strength training and running. i lost fifty pounds five years ago and was in the best shape of my life before I started working full time again. My emotional eating issues reared its ugly head and I'm back at square one. I know what to do, I just need to do it :). Thanks for listening ~ Cathy

  45. Sending love your way and prayers for comfort as you heal! I love that you're painting the yoga room blue. I hope it's comforting to you. I'm a major dog lover also and a vegetarian as well. And I know the pain is horrible but you will get through it for sure. I always love to remind myself that "This too shall pass". I just want to say that your videos are so awesome and I appreciate you so much. I am just getting back into a routine myself and love that I can feel like I'm in an awesome yoga class in my own home. You have a gift for guiding us through to the point where I hardly have to look at the video because you provide such great descriptions. It's been a real blessing to me and has relieved my anxiety and also pms symptoms! Even my husband has noticed! So just want to say thank you and can't wait to keep watching more! Hugs!

  46. This post definitely resonates with me. My dad was diagnosed with brain cancer last year and I have found some peace in accepting that some days are just going to be hard and that's okay, it's just the cycle of things. That being said, I am yearning to get back to a more frequent yoga practice and taking more time for myself to create, dream, have fun, etc. I love the power an online community like this has to inspire - do you have any other blogs/YouTube channels/websites that you like to visit to keep up the positivity?

  47. Hi Adriene,
    my comment my be slightly off the track in comparison to all the other and to what you wrote, but since your question was, what we want to get back to, for me, after journeys, it´s actually the travelling.
    When I read your title (big...small yoga room), I thought it was going somewhere in that direction, since after coming home from basically every trip that is more than a simple transition, I feel the smallness of every-life a lot stronger than when I´m into it for a while.
    It´s the unfair battle of impressive nature against day-by-day city life (and the city is not New York), retrats or holidays with lots of new people, exploring, talking, exchanging, against meeting the same people who daw the same circles all the time.
    So when I come back, I usually wnat to go away again directly.
    I am sorry if there is no real point for you in this entry.
    The funny thing though is, the nly place, I can in a way "relive" or "continue to feel" what I feel, when I travel, is on my yoga mat. Like you described, I am getting on it severals times a day, and not seldom with completely different approaches - ashtanga vs. yin sequences, short stretching sessions, meditation or complete series, strength training - you name it.
    But even on days, when I am physically not at ease, I can literally loose myself in the form. So for example, I stand there in a warrior, like in the sutre, I will "bring my mind to the infinite", and funny enough, at this stage of my development, the infinite is often super presence; living, feeling, breathing, tasting that very momnt. The thing that happens to you, when your brain gets into flow. When you leran something new, have to concentrate and focus - or when you travel and meet lots of New.
    That is what keeps me grounded and sane in my day-by day.
    You where going through a period of extreme grief. Grief is unease.
    You wrote, you found yourself crying in downward dog.
    Maybe you weren´t uneasy with yoga the last six months. Couldn´t it be, that, as yoga works on far more levels than the physical, with every asana, comfort or not, you were actually diving deeper in this process and healing some very deep layers of yourself, though maybe not realizing it?
    Just a thought... if true though, this would be a sign to be very advanced in yoga, having opened the inner door for the practice to work that way.
    More a sign of more intensity then of losing connection to yoga.
    Again, just a thought. It´s morning here and I just had time to rite something before going to work.
    I am sorry for your loss of Blue.
    I think I saw him in a video and he made me laugh, because he just wouldn´t leave the spot behind you 🙂
    Blessings,
    Robert

  48. Repainting the yoga room is a wonderful tribute! Blue will always be there. It just plain sucks to lose someone you love, give yourself the time to heal. There's no pressure to be "done" by a certain time. Have you read Merle's Door Lessons from a freethinking dog by Ted Kerasote? You might like it!

  49. Dear, sweet Adriene. I've been practicing with you for about two months and I just love you. It's not just the yoga I am learning and enjoying, it's your humor, smile and gentle guidance that keeps me coming to my mat day after day. At 56 years old, I am finally finding comfort in exercise. As a lady going through "stuff" I really appreciate your candid honesty with this post.
    I have two "babies" that I love dearly. They are the first pets I have had since I was a small child. So I imagine their departure will be traumatic.
    I am so sorry you lost your sweet Blue, but I bet you sometimes see him and feel him and smell him. He's still around, just on another plane of existence.
    Wishing you a happy day. Wishing you comfort. Wishing all the sweetness you give the world returns to you a million times.
    Much love and thank you
    Tammy

  50. Hi Adriene,

    Your post really struck a cord with me this week. We lost our dog a year ago this past October and it was beyond heart breaking. One of my favourite videos of yours is the one where Blue comes to give you kisses.

    What I can tell you is that after a year, there isn't a day that goes by where I don't think of Rawley but it doesn't hurt as much as it used to. Also, we finally made the move and adopted another dog 2 weeks ago and having his goofy energy kicking around the house has made such a difference in everyone. This morning while I was doing yoga he was on my mat and in and around my feet and at one point I had to laugh at the situation because he had worked me off of my mat and he was now sleeping comfortably on it while I continued my yoga beside him. Not only that but he's also helped me remember all of the wonderful things that Rawley brought to my life that I had forgotten because I was still mourning his passing.

    If I can offer any advise it is to embrace the grief. Dogs become a giant part of our everyday life and you have to work through the feelings that come with losing them.

    Hang in there and I'm sending positive vibes your way.

    Maria

  51. Wow. Beautifully written and so touching. I used to keep my mat rolled out in my room in India so that it was always looking back at me like a long lost friend needing reconnecting. As a reminder. That at any time it was there and we could once again dance together. And even the days I didn't step on it, there was comfort in it just being there. Thank you for your sharing.

  52. Wow dear, reading your blog and the comments just opened my heart to such a expansive degree. Thank you for sharing, teaching, and demonstrating how yoga unites us all in time and space and helps us connect or get back to addressing what we need to face to feel good again. You are the FACE of YOGA for me, which inspires me to practice. Thank you!

  53. Adrienne,

    Thank you for authenticity and allowing us to know you. I've been wanting to e-mail you and ask if you could do a yoga sequence for grief. I'm not sure what that looks like but I know it's something my body needs.

    Thanks,

    Kate

  54. I just read your post in my email. It made me think of something a little different than most of the comments above, but I'll take a leap and share anyway. I'm not sure if it's the same for you, but I think sometimes this new online world of making a living doing something we love via the internet can cause major burnout. I've always loved to cook, but after starting up a food blog I sometimes find it such a chore getting into the kitchen, and I miss the pure joy and relief it used to bring. There's now a pressure to always be thinking of "the blog" while I cook. I try to prioritize getting back to cooking just for fun at least a couple times a week--no camera, no notebook, just me, some wine, and maybe a recipe (of someone else's) to play with. Thanks so much for the post--looking forward to seeing the new paint color.

  55. Hello Adriene

    I want to thank you so much for your blogs, specifically this one. It speaks out to me. I've experienced so much in the past 3 years that my lifestyle has drastically changed, from getting into a relationship, graduating from college, experiencing my first full-time job, deciding to get into graduate school and going back to the F&B industry. These experiences have been overwhelming with so much pressure and not enough time to settle them. I've felt scared, insecure, worried, stressed, frustrated, depressed, all these negative emotions. I just wanted to curl into a shell and wait from something good to come along. But I stuck through them all and I'm slowly getting back into taking control.

    However, I still feel some elements are missing. I absolutely miss having time for myself. I want to set aside my occupational worries and priorities and give myself some time for reflection and mental relaxation. Yoga was part of that healthy lifestyle that I've neglected to get back into. Through this blog you have encouraged and motivated me to create a visual planner prioritizing me time. I've been wanting to get back into those happy healthy habits and practices I've been missing out on these past years.

    Thank you so much Adriene!
    I appreciate your genuine words of encouragement.

    You truly are a blessing,

    ~ Mel

    1. I would like to add. My very first dog was a Blue Heeler as well and like you and yours, she was my baby, my best friend, and comforting companion. I raised her as a puppy. All the commands and responses she knew, she learned from me. It's been years since I lost her and I too am grieving over the loss of her. It definitely isn't easy. I wish I had some light on the topic to give you, I'm sorry I don't.

      I hope you are comforted knowing that there are many of us who have experienced the kind of loss you are going through.

  56. Dear Adrienne,

    You have been my personnal yoga teacher for more than a year now. I've tried many online teachers and you were THE one. As simple as that. when I read you had lost Blue I felt sad for you and I said to myself "whoaw she his being really brave" (I don't remember why but you sounded very courageous about it). So when I read your latest post I was deeply moved. Now you are being braver than ever, facing it to move on.
    You are such an inspiring person ! Thank you for sharing with us and for being who you are. The internet is full of fake wellness gurus, but you are a real person and you REALLY help us growing.
    And I would love to get back to being a cool wife (not just a busy mom).
    Love,

    Stéphanie (from France...hence the poor english)

  57. Hi Adriane,

    I just very very recently ' discovered' you, and so glad about it. We met this week each morning at six! Well, it just shows your practices must be good! 🙂 light, humoristic, and yoga- wise very nice.
    Even my boyfriend is regularly tuning in. And that is tot say the least not something minor.

    Anyway, thank you for your work,

    See you monday morning at six!

    Regards from Tilburg, the Netherlands,

    Lisa

  58. Adrien, I love that you loved your furry son so much. it speaks volumes about who you are. I have a lot of much less intense reasons for not being on my mat. If you can move back into your space I can too. Nameste, Sharon

  59. hi

    im trying hard to comment o the blue tragedy but cant seem to master the technology

    maybe android or opera is the prob

    lets try win 7

    rob

  60. urika

    Dear Adriene

    I swore no more dogs after the inevitable last goodbye at the vet

    Then my daughter brought home a big yellow mutt that has stolen all our hearts

    I think you should get another blue

    can never replace the original but they all got this unconditional love thing going
    I'm sure it will help you deal with your loss

    I wish I could get back to my predawn mat dance while zahrah was snoring

    Instead of having her slobber on my face
    Her fave part of yoga

    Hey anyone listen to Adriene in their car ?

    very relaxing

    Thanks lady

  61. Adriene,

    I hope you find your mojo again soon for getting back onto your yoga mat. I have to share that I feel like that with my relationship with running, I've been a runner for years, LOVED it and couldn't wait to get to my long Sat morning runs and the exhilaration I found in it. THEN this summer I completely lost all desire to run, mostly because I've been working on getting rid of chronic headaches and have found some relief with your yoga videos. Now I find myself looking forward to my daily Yoga with Adriene, sometimes twice per day and began recommending your Youtube videos to my patients (I'm a Physical Therapist). I love your style, your sense of humor (the breath of fire video had me laughing out loud more than once....thanks for that!) and some very important points that resonate with me (namely finding your own organic movement, and letting go of that which no longer serves you, find your breath...). You'll get back into it when you're ready. For now, embrace the grief, allow yourself to feel it deeply and when you're ready you'll get back on the mat. Thanks so much for your inspiration and for sharing your personal post. I'm so sorry for your loss of your beloved pet.

  62. Hi Adriene.
    I want to get back to enjoying everyday and seeking out adventure, as opposed to my current going-through-the motions chic I did not know before. Your yoga is a big help in that, so thank you!

    I'm sending you awesome positive energy as I write this knowing, all to well the heartache and lost feeling you've been experiencing. You see, I traveled with my buddies Pepper and Hoops (mom and son Border Collies) for as long as I can remember, literally went everywhere like kids (no leashes...yes, I know that's bad, lol) After losing Pepper in 2008, Hoops and I were lost and fun places and things weren't so fun anymore.
    Having Hoops helped and he still goes everywhere I do...down the road, to the office, to my friends houses, heck he's been in more event centers than most people! 🙂 I know that sooner than later, he will go as well, but what I learned from Pepper is to keep a favorite picture of them or toy or anything in those 'together spots' and for you, if it's your freshly painted blue yoga room. Grab a fav photo of Blue, or many and make a collage, and find the perfect spot to put him. The one that when you look, it gives you a smile and a giggle. The fun things will become fun again, in a slightly different way.

    Take care and thanks again for your yoga practices.
    LA

  63. I woke up today knowing that I needed to love myself more than I have in the past months and especially the past couple of weeks. I am an artist, and my body is my instrument: yoga is necessary. I went to youtube, and I found one of your videos. You were so positive and personable that I was immediately at ease in practice. After 40 minutes of practice, I went to your website. I explored, and what a great experience! This post just resonated with me. Thank you so much. It is time to reconnect with myself and my needs. Thank you! I can already tell I will be exploring your site more! Thank you again! Today is beautiful.

  64. Hi Adriene,

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Blue, he seemed like such a sweet, happy dog from what we saw of him on your videos. I lost my beloved bunny Basil 3 years ago and he was my world, my best friend and my confidant. I know it might sound crazy but I could tell him (and my little doe girl Buffy) anything) sometimes just looking in their eyes and petting them you can tell they understand things humans don't. (One of the reasons I love animals more than humans because they're so playful, fun and sweet). When he passed suddenly and I wasn't there, I blamed myself. When he first passed I didn't stop crying for MONTHS. Even now not a day goes by I don't think of him as I had such a strong connection with him. However, I also have some psychic ability and have had dreams of him happy and playing in heaven. I also visited and decorated his grave and put up some pics of him in my living room by way of closure, but to also remind me he's still there looking down over me. xxxx

  65. Sweet Adriene,
    Thank you for sharing your practice, insights and life with us. Sending loving thoughts to you as you reset and reflect on your time with Blue.
    I recently found myself in tears in the mat, just refocusing on living with my true self more, not residing in the fluctuations. I want to get back to making choices, not just riding the wave. I'll see you soon (in video form! )
    thank you

  66. Hi Adriene,
    Thank you for being so genuine in your videos and your blog. I only discovered YWA about two months ago but there is something so refreshing about it that keeps me coming back everyday. I've been noticing not only a change in my body but a change in my life and my attitude towards life. I used to go to the gym to take Yoga classes but it just didn't feel right(I don't think I'm a gym kind of person). Anyway, I'm so glad I found your videos. I love that you incorporate your humor into your videos, it always makes me laugh(especially when you said "Crack an egg on your leg", I laughed so hard because we used to do that whole crack an egg on your head thing when I was a kid.) Your videos make Yoga even more enjoyable for more me. Thanks a bunch for making them. Namaste

    1. Hello Adriene,

      Its been a while since I have started following you and your courses of yoga. It was so strong in me that it had become a part of my life. Initially I started off with it being a mere way of losing weight and later it grew into it becoming my strength unconsciously.

      Post that, I went into a very busy routine, rather a new one which took me time to find a balance with my personal well being and work. This brought me down to an immense amount of stress which made me work long hours into the night, not having that space and frame of mind to get back onto my mat. Things kept getting worse, affected my mental stability and my inner strength. I used to break down every night before I slept only to dream of a better tomorrow.

      This was the time I took a bold step to get reconnect with my strengths. I got back onto the mat and started to feel much better. I started to talk louder about yoga and the essence of it. This started to make me feel much better and they have started to include the morning yoga sessions in the start of every day at our conference.

      I am a couple of days away from actually delivering these yoga sessions at our conference and this moment makes me feel strong! Stronger than what I had imagined myself to be after going through some of the most delicate moments in my life yet! I wouldn't say that I have healed mentally completely as yet, but the process has begun and I am just being able to do it with great support tool of Yoga!

      I have never written online to anyone this way, nor have I ever written a blog or anything of that sort. However, today when I look back at who I was and how I have transformed, one of the key reasons behind it is because of Yoga with Adriene. Thank you for showing me and a lots more the power of Yoga in the most beautiful way. You are one of the few that I enjoy following the most and I see as powerful!

      Tough times are testing times to just make us stronger. They will pass by!

      Do take care of yourself with a lot more Yoga! 🙂

      Tons of love,
      Spatika

  67. Dear Adriene,
    I searched for a yoga video that might help me get out of my slump, my sadness and the self-criticism I've been doling out. I naturally thought of you and how you would say to speak kindly to myself. What I didn't expect, was to read your note. I am so sorry about Blue. It wasn't until I read your post that I realized what has brought me to this sad, sad spot in mid May, is the passing of my BFF, Eddie, my 14 year old blue heeler and companion. He had to be put down on New Years' Eve 2016 and my heart has been broken ever since. Thanks for reminding me that things get off kilter sometimes...our bodies sometimes lose some fitness when "stuff" is going on. Thanks for reminding me that I will be O.K. and that my practice, my fitness, my laugh, and my sunny outlook will return.

    Sending you many hugs for the loss of Blue.

  68. The things we sometimes need the most we cannot have. Memories can be happy but sometimes the hint of sadness sneaks in. I often cry to myself alone missing those I love dear whatever they may have been. I have sobbed my heart out at times doing my yoga but have got off the mat at the end scrubbed my face with a face scrub looked in the mirror and thanked all my absent friends for being in my life. I also would like to thank all my worldwide yoga friends who help encourage me and need courage and solace back. Adriene is not wrong we are not alone we have each other. I like many many others owe her a lot. I can say hand on her that I wouldn't know what to do some days if it were not for her. Thank you always Adriene. ❤️

  69. Dear Adriene

    Hello and loads of love and luck from Ireland. Your comments on losing your dog really resonate. We just lost our lovely 2 year old dog just two days after Xmas. She was hit by a car in a storm and we are so devastated - myself and my teenage son. He sobbed she was his best friend and he has had way too much loss already in his young life. We are in lockdown, so life is intense! And losing our lovely Cushla means there are long echoes around the spaces she has filled. She was very sweet and not pushy so only realising now how huge her presence was. Your yoga is a huge help in getting through one day at a time, although it's just going through the motions at the moment. So much loss. sometimes it's hard to find optimism. But it's a new day, a big shift in the US is inspiring many of us to feel a little more hopeful. Love your day-to-day class and its accessible nature. Bless you x

  70. Dear Adriene....I am sending you strength and compassion. We will never forget our beloved pets and how they were always at our side! I will never forget my dog, Mexi who always did a little dance when I got home...I will never forget him ! Also when I had 2 knee surgeries (I can jog again now.. worked hard) and all my friends and boyfriend left because then i had a cane...my dog was always there for me ! I wrote some poetry about my dog...helps some people to write....also the poem "rainbow bridge" helped me with my grief....looking forward to seeing you again Adrienne with yoga ! Always enjoyable...helped me through the covid years ! Take care ! Carola

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